Don't Buy Me a Flower

deema kaedbey — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 21:00:00 +0000

سارة اميلين ابو غزال

The service driver seemed unbothered by the outrageous traffic jam. The heat was unbearable and the car’s engine had been humming impatiently. In that afternoon everything seemed in a desperate need to cool down.

He was fiddling with the radio station, passing through them quickly; the more stagnant the traffic was, the faster he changed stations. Finally, He found what he was looking for, and there it was: Elissa’s voice came out of the speakers clear and obvious. Happy with his achievement, the service driver- a man in his 20’s- turned to me while I sat in back sea and explained his choice:

-“hey el ghneyeh lal demowazel, aked bet7ebe Elissa, makel el banet be7bo el romans”*

I nodded and kept pretending that I was busy sending an sms(not), avoiding the chance to follow up on the conversation.

That afternoon and onwards, I’ve been trying to find the root of all these stereotypes. How did women settle for such statements about them? And are they careless about the misrepresentations and inaccuracies they suggest?

I keep wondering if there is a book somewhere whose existence I’m unaware of. A book that explains all of these matters to me, for example why are women more in touch with their feelings than men, why is our brain’s capacity limited to clothing and functionalities; and what is the exact description of the hysteria that occurs when a women- goddess forbid- breaks a nail; why are women so attached to their finger nails? Why are all blond girls stupid? Why is having a drink at the bar an invitation for sex? Why should I expect flowers? Why should I love flowers? Why does calling myself a feminist make me a “men hater”? Why are all lesbians ugly? Why are beautiful girls silly? Why should I care about beauty? Why should I panic if I gained weight?

I know that these stereotypes add a flavor to our conversations. They ridicule the slightest suggestions that women (present in the conversation or not) are serious, and lead a life that goes beyond the stereotype they are stuck in. These stereotypes dismiss that fact that they (women) might have other interests rather than to please one’s judgment of her sex and gender roles.

She might actually be crying not because “silly girl, kteer sensitive” that she might actually be hurt by whatever action had happened or words she’d heard.

I know these stereotypes have been there, always; they are reflections of roles expected to be played out thoroughly, and if they are not, it’s not a problem, the non conforming women have their own stereotypes too.

I really do wonder about where did this women and flowers association came from? Flowers are diverse just like women, I like that, but then flowers get picked based on the desired aesthetic of the “picker”, they get stuck in vases, are admired, get abandoned, they die and the time comes to consume new ones. Is that where it all come from? Aesthetics, admiration, abandonment and death?

Publisher:

Sawt al' Niswa

Section:

Story

Category:

Women's rights

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Sawt al Niswa | صوت النسوة - flowers and women

Don't Buy Me a Flower

Publisher: